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The Man In The Rainbow Suspenders

by Lou Santacroce

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1.
Actual Ad 03:12
Actual Ad (More or Less)(Obviously Not About You) Five-foot four, social smoker Average build, liberal voter Take me anywhere and I'll behave I’m a good cook and I don’t give strife And I could make a damn good wife I might just be the woman that you crave But I’ve been hurt so bad And I’ve been made so sad Please come and rescue me I’ll be the girl you want me to be Got a good job and I make good wages 401(k), retirement stages Ready for you at the end of every day If you’re not working, no need to fuss I make enough for both of us Just promise me that you won’t go away But read between those lines And find those alibies I’ve got no self-esteem No will of my own, just broken dreams (break; next four lines are sung as a chorus) I’ll wait upon you hand and foot There’s nothing that you’ll lack But I’ll be like a crown of thorns I guess I’ve got that knack I'll follow you through thick and thin Barrooms, men's rooms, showers, gym Always have to be right by your side No need to give me your address Got radar better than a GPS Defeat your every effort to try and hide When you don’t look at me I’ll cry hysterically It doesn’t matter who 'Cause every girl is trying to get you In the end you won’t split hairs You’ll throw me down the nearest stairs But I can’t help it, that’s the way I am You’ll leave me out in the pouring rain Screaming, crying, suffering, pain To go straight home and write another ad ‘Cause I can’t stand the drone Of being all alone I’ve been through this before And I can’t take it any more
2.
Secrets 03:17
Secrets We’ve been keeping secrets, buried deep within And when those secrets surface, that’s when heartaches can begin Arguing ‘till daybreak, ‘till the rising of the sun Saying ‘You did this” and ‘You did that,’ and pretty soon it’s done With two backs turned against each other, arms crossed against their chest With a stubbornness that’s putting a relationship to rest (x2) It’s not like we’ve been sneaking ‘round the back door late at night Those aren’t the kinds of secrets we’re afraid will come to light It’s kinds that we had thought were hidden safely in disguise The one’s that surface suddenly and take us by surprise But we wear suits of iron armor, that will not penetrate And still refuse to open up our hearts ‘till it’s too late (x2) We want to hold to what we have And so we live in fear That something from the past Might break the deal that we have here But if the past is really gone The future starts today And the secrets we’ve been keeping Weren’t worth keeping anyway Sherry’s got her secrets, I’ve got mine as well I’d like to take those secrets now and shove ‘em down a well To bury them forever, to cover them with sand To open up our hearts again and take each other’s hands To stand naked before each other, with nothing left to hide And see how long two people could in nakedness abide (x2) With the secrets on the table, and a pact that we have swore To never, ever bring to mind those secrets any more To walk this road together, as lovers and as friends And never let some secrets come to threaten us again To just stand naked before each other, with nothing left to hide And see how long two people can in nakedness abide (x2)
3.
Opening Remarks Cover your ears if you can’t hear the news This is the only song I’ll write for you Can’t call your lawyer, you can’t point and blame, I can Tell everything without calling your name Just go away, just go away Go find another to torture today Just go away, leave me in peace Give me a new life oh, give me release Cover your eyes if you don’t want to see I’ve got new projects to keep me busy You can listen so close to that drill bit roar, as I’m changing the locks on my front and back door To keep you away, keep you away Go find a new source of human prey To keep you away, far from my door Stopping the start of a third world war Let’s divide all our things, all the dishes and spoons Books and our albums and all our I-tunes All the places we went, all the folks that we knew You can have them all back if you’ll just go too Cover your mouth if you don’t want to speak You’ll be out of my memory before next week Why should I bother to call you to mind Why should you take any more of my time Soon you’ll be gone, soon you’ll be gone You’ll tell all your friends that you did nothing wrong Soon you’ll be gone, I’ll celebrate My only regret is that you left too late
4.
Mama Gets Drunk A little boy, looking out the window, waiting in the doorway, staring at the phone Grab a chair, flip the channels on the TV, school’s been out for hours, your still home alone When she gets home, you know what she’ll say, eat your dinner, grab your homework and go away Mama’s getting ready, she’s a-going out again, it’s getting so the walls are your best friend ‘Cause mama gets drunk, mama gets stoned, if mama had her way, she would never come home “cause Then she’d never ever have to be alone, and then she’d never have too look in the mirror, boy Mama gets drunk, mama gets high, mama’s gonna wonder how the years flew by She’s got wings, but she ain’t looking where she flies Morning comes, mama’s oversleeping, you go in to wake her, just in time to find Mama’s friend, sneaking out the back door, she says he’s an old friend, she must think you’re blind ‘Cause you ain’t never seen him before, and the kids at the playground say your mama’s just a whore Ran home crying ‘cause you got into a fight, but no one was there to make it all right Everyone in town knows what’s going on by now Their voices drop to a whisper when you walk by The other kids don’t know why they can’t play with you no more It must be something that their parents heard Every day, going through the same thing, putting up a good front, acting unaware There’s only one who could ever hope to reach you, but she’s always busy, she just doesn’t care And daddy left a long time ago, mama won’t let him see you no more She says he never liked to have any fun, but since he’s been gone, you ain’t had none
5.
A Picture of the Pain A picture of the pain Charcoal smudged in grey Blacks and whites and sepia stains Are all the colors that remain Pastels washed away A picture of the pain Twilight turns to night Empty rooms and empty bed Empty words inside your head Faces turn away When you’re waiting on some corner Standing in the pouring rain Knowing that the bus ain’t coming Then you’ll have a picture of the pain The music of the pain Contrasting chords Chanting lower voices sound Trembling underneath the ground Funeral dirges play The music of the pain Silly, stupid rhymes London Bridge is falling down Hit the sidewalk, made no sound Silent torch songs play When the room is moving And the pulse of empty space remains When you strain to hear the silence Then you’ll hear the music of the pain A picture of the pain A perfect storm at sea Ships are lost in tempest’s might Grief and mourning through the night Daylight brings the rain A picture of the pain Lawyers at the door Battle’s won but the war’s been lost I can’t bear to count the cost Ten years down the drain Coming home to find it emptied All is vanished, none remain Cataracts and blurred vision All complete a picture of the pain
6.
Forever Loving You We met down in some honkey-tonk and danced the whole night through You smiled at me and instantly I fell in love with you And soon you had convinced me that our love was here to stay If I had known the truth I would have run the other way You said let’s wait til we get married ‘cause that’s only right Then talking on the phone you’d tantalize me every night You’d whisper in my ear ‘bout all the things that we would do But now that you have got that ring you’re telling me the truth Now I hate the way you wait til I’m asleep to come to bed And I hate it when you tell me that all men fill you with dread And I hate the way your back is turned to me the whole night through But most of all I hate myself for ever loving you Now hatred is a bitter pill that goes down with such ease Through it’s the cause of everything from stress to heart disease I know one day they’ll find a cure and all the world will sing But first they’ll have to cure the heartache people like you bring ‘Cause you lied about your love for me, you lied and you complained The only thing you didn’t lie about, dear, was your name The times you took advantage of my love became so clear This song would last forever if I put them all in here Now I hate that when we fight you act like I commit a crime And I hate the way your children disrespect me all the time And I hate the way your mom and dad think all your lies are true But most of all I hate myself for ever loving you (instrumental break) Right now I hardly have enough to pay my food and rent ‘Cause you’ll never be content until you’ve gotten every cent There’s part of me that wants to scream that you should be ashamed But deep within my heart I know that I’m the one to blame ‘Cause I took you at your word when you told me you’d always stay And I believed you saying you’d stand by me come what may But when I got laid off and everything we had was lost That’s when I found you must have had your little fingers crossed Now I hate the way you left because you say I’m in the wrong And I hate that I’m in hock right up to here since you’ve been gone And I hate that now I’m broke my usefulness to you is through But most of all I hate myself for ever loving you (instrumental break) Now I hate that you betrayed our love and did it with such cheer And I hate the way you robbed me blind and never shed one tear And I hate the way you’ve never had to pay for what you do But most of all I hate myself for ever loving you Yeah, most of all I hate myself for ever loving you
7.
The Masked Man Somebody said You can’t save money on food, footwear, firearms or ladies’ lingerie You can only put away enough to get you through the day Don’t ever pay a penny more than what you have to pay And always be suspicious anytime that they are asking you to stay Who was that man? Who was that masked man? I want to meet him I want to shake his hand Want to remember him I want to learn from him I want to preach his word to elderly and youth I want to thank that man for telling me the truth Somebody said You can’t do right by victims whom you victimized yourselves Or hide the truth behind the boxes on your closet shelves You can take the money meant to feed the poor and spend it on your little war But you’ll find it getting bigger, yes and dirtier than what you bargained for Somebody said You might think all your sins will fade away with every rising of the sun But that can only work when you repent of every single thing you’ve done And no one gets to slide no matter how you may have kept the bad things hid And Jesus may forgive you but nobody will forget the things you did
8.
One Last Song About the Chelsea Hotel (in memory of Stanley Bard, 1934-2017) They’re closing down the Chelsea Hotel The renovations hit a snag, they didn’t go so well And no one wants to live where famous poets, and musicians used to dwell They’re closing down the Chelsea Hotel They’ve taken up the old mosaic floor There’s plywood where there used to be a stately beveled door The giant, blinking sign that you could see halfway to Brooklyn is no more They’ve taken up the old mosaic floor They’ve piled up all the furniture as well The rotten wood and couches that weren’t good enough to sell The rats have taken over and the neighborhood is shot and gone to hell They’ve piled up all the furniture as well They’re closing down the Chelsea Hotel They’ve turned it into condominiums, all priced to sell They’ll keep the older name but you can bet that they won’t keep it very well They’re closing down the Chelsea Hotel There’s no one left to shed a single tear The legends that you read that tell about what happened here Will be limited to lines in songs and stories no one’s read in many years There’s no one left to shed a single tear They’re closing down the Chelsea Hotel The ghosts of the departed will remember it so well ‘Till someday someone comes along and stands upon the place it used to dwell And says, “Hey! Wasn’t this the Chelsea Hotel?”
9.
Moving Song 03:09
Moving Song Moving away, got myself a rental Moving away, come help me pack Moving away, I’ll send out for pizza It’s time to be moving away Load up that truck, 40 boxes of music Load up that truck, just one bag of clothes Load up that truck, got albums, tapes and CD’s It’s time to be moving away One more load, three guitars and one bass One more load, a mandolin One more lad, careful with that keyboard It’s time to be moving away Lock up the truck, here comes the pizza Lock up the truck, let’s take a rest Lock up the truck, we can say our goodbyes now It’s time to be moving away Moving away Rolling down the highway Moving away Got no regrets Moving away Looking down a new road It's time to be moving away
10.
Closing Thoughts If my cupboards all were empty, and my money almost gone And my heart so badly broken I would sell it for a song And an empty bed at sunset, and an empty room at dawn Empty faces in the mirror, empty streets to walk along If I’d walked through pouring rain without a hat upon my head If I’d have slept on dirty floors and if I’d slept in unmade beds If I’d bathed in muddy rivers, and in some polluted streams If I’d heard the voices screaming in some terrifying dreams I’d still rise up in the morning Sometimes rise up in the night I’d still walk the crowded boulevards And I would not yield to fright I would stand up looking stronger In the hope that I would be All the sorrows and the heartbreaks Would be faded memories When I hear about the sorrow, when I read about the pain When I watch the past repeating ‘till I bow my head in shame When I look outside my window, see the darkness in the sky When the rain pours down in rivers but the tears have all run dry I will rise above the shouting I will rise above their sin I’ll will rip their manifestos To confetti for the wind I will close my eyes in silence I will kneel down and pray To the double-edge-ed sword That’s coming back again some day I’ve got friends I’ll see in Heaven, I’ve got friends I’ll never see And I pray those other friends will come and walk along with me Walking barefoot through the thorn fields, walking ‘pon the mirrored sea Reaching out beyond the waves to take the hand that beckons me When my bucket has a hole And my cupboards all are bare Still my spirit will be rising Somewhere far away from here High above the painted desert High above the windswept plains Where a better shade awaits me Where some better life remains
11.
The One Who Holds My Heart (for Jess) I’d rather have bad times with you Than good with someone else I’d rather be beside you in a storm Than safe myself I’d rather have hard times with you Than easy ones apart I’d rather have the one who holds my heart I’d rather have you in my arms Than money, jewels and fame And every other thing That I had ever called by name I’d rather have the one With whom my thoughts are intertwined The one who’s heart beats softly next to mine I’d rather have you now Than anything that I hold dear ‘Cause everything I’ve ever wanted Stands before me here I’d rather have the one From whom I’ll never be apart I’d rather have the hero of my heart

credits

released September 22, 2018

Produced by Peter Jesperson
Recorded, mixed and mastered by Seth Nathan at Free Lunch Studios, Clark Mills, NY 315-723-4735
All songs registered with BMI

Lou Santacroce: vocals and guitars
On Moving Song, add Seth Nathan: guitar, bass, mandolin and Wurlitzer
Sleeve by Garrett Ingraham
Cover photo by Al Santacroce
Inside photo by Nedra Isenberg
Back Cover photo by Thomas E. Loughlin, Jr.


Special, heartfelt thanks to my friend of 40 years, Peter Jesperson, who held my hand long-distance throughout this entire project; and to Garrett Ingraham and Robin Raabe at the Tramontane Cafe, who provided the space and atmosphere where these songs took shape.

Of Blessed Memory: John Price, George Romano, Bob Stinson, Hal Pattee, Mary B. Johnson, Suzanne Dudley.

Lou Santacroce is also the author of novels Cracks and Heart Like Railroad Steel, and the non-fiction Parsifal for Christians, available on Amazon Kindle.

This album is for Jessica, the one who holds my heart.

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Lou Santacroce Utica, New York

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