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lyrics

Actual Ad (More or Less)(Obviously Not About You)

Five-foot four, social smoker
Average build, liberal voter
Take me anywhere and I'll behave
I’m a good cook and I don’t give strife
And I could make a damn good wife
I might just be the woman that you crave
But I’ve been hurt so bad
And I’ve been made so sad
Please come and rescue me
I’ll be the girl you want me to be

Got a good job and I make good wages
401(k), retirement stages
Ready for you at the end of every day
If you’re not working, no need to fuss
I make enough for both of us
Just promise me that you won’t go away
But read between those lines
And find those alibies
I’ve got no self-esteem
No will of my own, just broken dreams

(break; next four lines are sung as a chorus)

I’ll wait upon you hand and foot
There’s nothing that you’ll lack
But I’ll be like a crown of thorns
I guess I’ve got that knack

I'll follow you through thick and thin
Barrooms, men's rooms, showers, gym
Always have to be right by your side
No need to give me your address
Got radar better than a GPS
Defeat your every effort to try and hide
When you don’t look at me
I’ll cry hysterically
It doesn’t matter who
'Cause every girl is trying to get you

In the end you won’t split hairs
You’ll throw me down the nearest stairs
But I can’t help it, that’s the way I am
You’ll leave me out in the pouring rain
Screaming, crying, suffering, pain
To go straight home and write another ad
‘Cause I can’t stand the drone
Of being all alone
I’ve been through this before
And I can’t take it any more

credits

from The Man In The Rainbow Suspenders, released September 22, 2018

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Lou Santacroce Utica, New York

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